Assuming that you’re a guy who’s totally clueless on how to deal with women or girls, it be your lady, your girlfriend, your mom (or my mom), this should help you. (I’m telling you, I have reasons to believe that I’d make a REALLY great boyfriend if I were a guy. Except I’m not, and I will never be lesbian because women are ugh.)
#1 Say you’re sorry (even if you were the one who got hurt)
…and is currently getting hurt with rhetorical questions, which you have no choice of saying “no” to. The woman in question will make you realize why she actually got mad in the first place. It’s something you realized the moment she suddenly went on fire. You realized everything in an oh-shit-go-facepalm-yourself-here-we-go-again sort of way. Tell her that you’ve realized the wrong things that you said. Calmly.
#2 Calmly. Be calm. NEVER raise your voice
Else, she’d raise both her voice and her rage meter. I repeat, calmly say you’re sorry. It takes awhile for the female to understand that you’ve realized everything 5 to 10 minutes ago.
Even if she’d pointed out how stupid you were and no matter how mad you’re now getting for her implying how stupid you were, be calm. NEVER raise your voice. Nope, you have no right to be mad for getting hurt. And insulted.
#3 She is ALWAYS right, even if she’s not.
Even if she’s just 1% right, consider her point that’s right and with that, accept/admit defeat. Say yes that she was right, and again, say sorry. And that you were stupid.
#4 Tell her you never wanted her mad in the first place.
It will probably calm her down in an “awww” sort of way, in her head. She will never really show it though. She would change her mood into a bearable one and will suddenly be sweet. The subject would magically be dropped and avoided.
#5 Do not expect an apology. (Or “closure”)
Because she was right in the first place. Yeah, we’re all doomed. The only consolation you get is that she stops nagging, fight’s over but she will most likely, never say sorry. Do not push your luck.
It’s back to square one once you ask for one.
#6 Do not point out how insensitive she is.
Because in her eyes, it’s you and everyone else (but her) who is insensitive and dumb. She will get back to you on that if you do. You’ll NEVER hear the end of it.
#7 Learn from your mistakes and be careful next time you speak.
She will interpret everything you say, and will and ALWAYS will, use it against you. Miranda rights, remember?
LASTLY, when she’s calmed down, you could try saying “I love you”. Now, sit, stay. Roll over. Good dog!